21 Ways To Get Under Freddie's Skin
by SeddieLuvr
Summary: New Years Resolutions, Sam style.


21 Ways To Get Under Freddie's Skin

Ok so last time I gave an introduction But, this time were just going to get right to the story! DISCLAIMER: I do not own iCarly unfortunately.

You know what my favorite holiday is? Go ahead take a guess. I'm guessing your going.....

To come up with some generic answer like Christmas or Easter. Here's a hint it's neither. Nope I have another little holiday I like to call: Annoy The Crap Out of Freddie; I know what most of you are wondering when does this holiday began and end, The response it never does it's year round! I bet your wondering the origin of it you know how it got started and all that chizz. Well every New Year I make a full list of resolutions that I never keep, it just sits in my garbage can collecting up the dust, rotten apple cores and whatever other junk gets piled in with it. Just for fun let's go through some of the resolutions I have made!

Number 1: Stop eating ham (Yeah, well I tried that for a week and had Ham withdrawal syndrome and trust me it's not an empowering feeling at all.)

Number 2: Quit getting detention every day (Then I realized detention was actually a way for me to socialize with more people with the same hobbies that I have is that awesome sauce or what!)

Number 3: Stop being so hostile towards Fredweirdo's mom (Well, she tripped down the stairs and I had a freaking laugh attack okay?)

Number 4: The last resolution I can think of that I never keep. Be nicer to Fred nana split. (I try harder every year but it seems like all I can do is bring him pain instead of happiness.)

So now I have a new goal, 21 Ways To Get Under Freddie's Skin! By: Samantha A. Puckett, it's published every New Year and sent to Freddie *smirks* 2010 should be an exciting year for some new tricks and new ways to annoy that nub. Infact, I can think of a few reasons right now to make his skin tremble with fear. So proudly I present 21 Ways to Get Under Freddie's skin.

He likes to come around the corner of the Groovie Smoothie every day on his merry little way to school, So good new way to scare Freddie number 1 Hide in that corner with a Mason Voorhees mask on and jump out and tackle him. (It'll make his adrenalin rate increase by at least 1,000 percent satisfaction guaranteed.)

Ok, well you all know how he loves Carly right? Well someone's got to be there to tell him that he'll never get her attention. So in order to make sure that's done every day I programmed his phone so when it goes off it says "She'll never love you nub-head get over her already! And did I mention the best part It's motion censored!

Number 3: Have Frothy make Freddie's face into a scratching post. (Love you Frothums)

Number 4: Fill Freddie's tub with actual ticks! (Then he'll have to start taking tick baths again and he won't stop itching! Mwahah.)

Number 5: Call the police on his mother for no apparent reason, and then blame it on the Hobo down the street. (That would make me feel like a giddy kid in a candy shop! And the hobo would be yelled at nice.)

Number 6: Throw his brand new Pear phone 10,000 into Lake Cleary. (Smiles at the thought of that.)

Number 7: Change his iCarly blog (He'll lose his sanity over that!)

Number 8: Put Zeebo the dinosaur quotes all over his bedroom wall and make it permanent (Can anyone say Markie?)

Number 9: Take his house key from his pocket when he isn't looking and to make him earn it back have him carry me for two weeks and I get to call him Sam's little pony!

Number 10: Tie him to the tree and whack him like a piñata! (Can anyone say Happy Torture day?)

Number 11: I saw this on a TV. Show and it looked funny! Put a pile of leaves over a huge deep puddle making it look like no water is there and have him walk right over it! (Hope you know how to swim dweeb!)

Number 12: Sell his anti-bacterial underpants on E-boy and give them to the highest nerd bidder there is….(Did I mention all of those were going to be sold? Guess he'll have no underwear for 3 months straight!)

Number 13: Make a poster saying "Come see Dorkula in a full on make-out session with his pillow one showing only 11 P.M. at Bushwell Plaza, pay an extra sum of cash I'll get you front-row seats!!"

Number 14: Make him into a human sundae while he sleeps. (He'll feel the chills and hot fudge trickling down his body, which will make him have some sharp pain!)

Number 15: Make him a Valentines Day card that says To: Freddie Love: Carly with some fake little message in it have him read the card get all excited walk up to Carly try and kiss her. And then have her shove him into the wall saying "Ewwwwe" (That's a V-day for me alright.)

Number 16: Act flirty towards him you know all that romantic chizz and stuff like blowing fake kisses and talking about how hot he is and teasing him constantly It'll have him freak out of his mind. (And that to me is pure sexy-ness Puckett style)

Number 17: Have a clown jump out of his huge 17th birthday cake….He hate's clowns for the record been scared of them since he was 3… I remember when "Flipper" the clown (my dad came dressed as him scared the strudel dish out of him…Good times….Good times. That's a classic that needs to be relived over again and again.)

Number 18: Turn up the volume on his pear-pod when he isn't looking. (Can someone say electric boom wave?)

Number 19: Freddie was so excited about vandalizing the stupid pet owners place that I decided to leave him a little appreciation. Awesome way to annoy Freddie number 19 Smash his living room window in! (Well you did say you liked to crush things am I right?)

Number 20: Delete every file he has stored in his computer (The delete button is a wonderful way to do things if you know how to use it properly of course.)

Number 21: Pay T-Bo to come over to his house at 3 in the morning selling the thing he can't stand Scones (He doesn't like the smell of them he doesn't like the taste of them he doesn't even like to look at them, Which is really odd since the number 2 thing on my Sam loves to devour list is scones!) (Oh and did I mention T-Bo's not going away until Freddie buys all 50 dozen boxes of Scones? That should take up a quarter of his allowance.)

So there you have it, 21 awesome new ways to annoy a nerd and remember for those of you at home that want to try this I'm a professional it's my job well Happy New Year, I got to go raid the Benson's fridge.

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A note: Sorry, if the editing is not perfect this is my first time typing it in a diffrent format and I'm not used to this format. Please Review! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


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